Save the date
...and no, it's not about my book launch :)
Would you want to know when you are going to die? I mean like which year, which day?
Maybe one answer to that question is: It Depends.
If I try and throw myself back into my 30-year old mind and were I to find out in some magical way that I would die in 50 years, sure, I think yes, I would want to know. I would most likely/maybe/hopefully structure my life in a way with that end date in mind.
I guess. Though when I was 30, planning for 50 years in the future would feel pretty much like it might as well be 500 years.
On the other hand….
That’s a world of difference from sitting across from a sober-faced physician telling you you might have maybe six months—-if you’re lucky.
So, it depends
Hearing or believing that I will die in some number of decades is abstract, verging on meaningless. Planning for something that’s 50 years in the future has no urgency, right? Two years, six months? That’s a whole other kettle of fish.
It’s probably human nature to make some vague guesstimates, especially if you are under the assumption that your death is far in the future. Like guessing you’d likely die in 50 years if you’re 30—(even though we all know how irrational that might be)—-seems pretty low stakes.
But if you’re 40 and you are told (not sure how that would happen but just for argument’s sake) that you would die in 10 years, that could be life-altering.
Six months! That’s another story all-together. Depending on who you are that could bring everything into the sharpest relief in the most clarifying way AND/OR be unbearable and paralyzing.
I think we kind of live with “fuzzy death dates” and there are things that might even make your guesses less random, things like:
actuarial tables
family history
risk factors
lifestyle choices
Yeah, but there is always that fickle finger of fate.
PROS AND CONS
On the PRO side of knowing when you will die, the urgency might encourage you to:
walk the camino de santiago trail like you’ve thought about for forever but keep putting off
quit that soul-sucking job and not worry about health insurance
move to Costa Rica, open a surf shop and never bother with sunscreen
leave that partner you’ve been just tolerating
You might say everything you want to say, never do anything you don’t want to do, and leave any event when you damn well please.
You might ditch your computer and smart phone and order lobster for breakfast.
On CON side of knowing when you will die, you might:
start measuring everything in your life where all good moments comes with a subtitle: only 9 more of these left.
experience every holiday and special event as the last one…even ordinary things, like this might be my last Thursday.
become obsessive, fatalistic, weirdly reckless or weirdly frozen
be treated by others like you’re fragile or already gone
not transform at all i.e still procrastinate, still avoid hard conversations, still waste time scrolling IG for dog videos.
Me? I think not. Of course, I’m not 30…or 40…or 50….or 60…or…SIGH. So, I know it’s out there, maybe not at my fingertips but sure could be arm’s length.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Love and peace,
PS: If you enjoyed this piece, I’d be so grateful for a ♥️ and a SHARE/RE-STACK ⬇️